Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Velcro and Character Endorsements


I used to have an aversion to character tennis shoes. I don’t
want my kid walking around with a Spongebob endorsement on his foot.  Plus, I think they are hopelessly dorky.  A horse on his lapel? No problem. Just no
characters. Things have changed.



Buzz_shoes
About a year ago I took my son into Stride Rite. I'm a sucker for a good marketing campaign. He followed the salesperson’s directions, obediently removing his
shoes and placing his foot in the metal contraption that tells me what size
shoe I should drop $50 on. Everything was going great until the salesperson had
the audacity to attempt to put a shoe on my son’s foot. He freaked. He screamed
and made sounds similar to those he makes when the nurse is coming at him with
the flu shot. It’s a non-human sort of bird noise that is high pitched. I’m
pretty sure there were stray dogs howling at the mall entrance that day. I
reacted like I always do when faced with immediate stress: I had a mild panic
attack and got angry. I realize this is not the most healthy approach to this
type of thing but it’s not something I think about. It’s reactionary and
apparently I’m not mature enough to react appropriately.



I do care what people think of me so I tried to maintain
some semblance of outer calm. I took the shoes from the salesperson and
attempted to calm my son using soothing words and logic, “It’s just a shoe.” “It
will make you run faster.” This gradually evolved into, “What is the problem
here?” (voice raising), “It’s just a shoe for the love of all that is holy!”
None of this worked so I counted to ten and tried to get inside my son’s head
to find out why he was having such an adverse reaction to a shoe. After he
regained his composure and let out the last bird noise and a few sobs, my son
told me, “I don’t like shoes that tie.” I was floored. I had no clue. How could
I not know about this phobia? Clearly, he must wake in the middle of the night
in terror from dreams of a large pair of Chuck Taylor’s coming at his head. Did
he need counseling for this phobia? Is there a word for this phobia? (There’s
not, at least not one I can find.)



I decided that buying shoes with Velcro was a small price to
pay for my son’s sanity. I found a cute pair of Velcro shoes and have fought
him since the day I brought them home to wear on school days. He hates to wear
them. It’s a constant battle. Yesterday I was at the mall at the Disney Store.
It’s going out of business and I was taking advantage of the sales. My son was
with me and a pair of Velcro tennis shoes caught his eye. They were hideous:
green and blue with a picture of Buzz Lightyear on the side. Plus, they light
up. Talk about a double whammy. I took note of his enthusiasm about any pair of
tennis shoes and decided to let him try them on. He loved them. Sold. I paid
the cashier $7.50 for them, hung my head in shame for just a minute and went on
my merry way. My son had school this morning. He got dressed, down to his
obnoxious light-up shoes with no argument whatsoever. It took every ounce of
self-control not to bend down and kiss his shoes but I held back. I’ll keep my
newly found character endorsements to myself.





9 comments:

  1. I'll bet he was the hit of the playground if it was a little cloudy so the other kids could track the flash of light zipping around yelling "Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!!!"

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  2. Yep. Been there. I was a much better parent before these darn kids came along. Who gave them permission to have opinions anyway? Great story. Great post.

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  3. I so agree on the shoes! We have had a few sets of power rangers and one pair of light up shoes. I hope Elizabeth does not want princess light up shoes. I have high hopes that since she is a girl she will have better fashion sense :)

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  4. The things we do for our kids. I'm more of a plain jane kinda girl myself, but whatever makes my kids happy, and things easier. Welcome to the dark side of parenting J, welcome ;-)~

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  5. I'm so with you on the character endorsements. I managed to never buy them.
    My kids were enamored of the lights on other people's shoes, but they never asked for them.

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  6. My biggest fear was that other parents would think those shoes were MY idea! Like I was a bad parent forcing the kid to wear something gosh awful. Great story!

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  7. Actually, if they made light up shoes in my size...I'd buy 'em. I'd also but the ones with wheels in the heels.

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  8. I used to think I didn't mind character shoes, until a friend gave us some barely-used Yu-Gi-Oh sneakers (and two pairs of Yu-Gi-Oh sandals). They were in perfect condition, so I could hardly say no, but something about the Yu-Gi-Oh really bugs me. My kids aren't into Yu-Gi-Oh. My son who wears the shoes doesn't even know what it is. It seems almost dishonest to put them on him, but then, he doesn't care, so I'm not sure why I do.

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  9. Marsha they do have the shoes with wheels in them for adults. My sil got a pair for christmas and she is 38. Oh the stories I could tell with that!

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