Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Unfantastic Voyage

Inspired by a recent blog by Rachel Held Evans, I have decided to write about a controversial subject that I am passionate about. Prepare yourself. It might just start another Mommy war.

Here is an ode to my recently acquired, not-so-gently used Honda Odyssey. I hate it with a passion that defies measurement and can only be expressed in a poorly written, pseudo Old English “poem”. Enjoy:

Oh Odyssey, Odyssey. How I deplore thee, Odyssey

How I loathe thy doors that cannot be forced open or shut and therefore require a performance worthy of Ringling Brothers on cold mornings when frost renders ye doors un-openable and I still must get three younglings in their seats.

How I deplore thy interior lighting system which has rendered thine battery dead on many a morning.

How I abhor thy lackluster seats, which require bi-weekly visits to my chiropractor.

How I detest thy transmission, which must be replaced every 150,000 miles to the tune of $3500.

How I wish thy were a Town and Country, a far, far superior vehicle in every way.

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