Sunday, September 7, 2008

Litter-O-Menace

Litter Box

About six weeks ago my husband purchased an automatic cat litter box for me. It was, perhaps, the most thoughtful gift ever bestowed upon a newly pregnant woman and it didn't come cheap (about $100). Much like little Ralphie did with his Red Rider on Christmas morning, my husband ripped open the box with gusto and immediately (and very uncharacteristically) tossed it in the trash and began assembling the litter box. I didn't know that he had tossed it until Monday afternoon, after the trash pick-up had come and gone. I was not a happy girl.

We both gazed at our new marvel of modern technology in wonder as he did the honors, pressing the green button to watch the box rake the litter, pick up any refuse (there wasn't any yet) and toss it neatly into the plastic bag. It was a thing of beauty. A thing of beauty that didn't work worth a darn. Our eldest cat, Dickens, drinks more ounces of water a day than me. I've theorized that he is a diabetic but I'm much too afraid of the bills and medical regimen that will follow to actually get a diagnosis, plus it's his only symptom. His excessive water drinking causes him to, surprise!, pee excessively. He pees in absurd quantities a ridiculous number of times per day. The Litter-O-Matic was no match for Dicken's bladder. That poor motor can't even handle one pee pile from good ol' Dickens. The motor runs and runs and the rake goes back and forth again and again but, try as it may, it can't scoop up the ginormous pile o' pee.

Our Litter-O-Matic was a lemon and it needed to be returned but we had a problem. We had a receipt (thanks to your's truly) but no box. I sent my husband to the store with strict instructions to demand a refund and he returned with a new Litter-O-Matic, minus the box. My poor husband, filled with remorse about his impulsive choice to toss the box, is down in the basement as I write this, doing his best to will the second Litter-O-Matic to work. He's tried every brand of clumping litter, worked on the motor, spent endless hours watching it and he still will not give up. Six weeks, people. SIX WEEKS! I wonder if there is a support group for people like him, the "My Litter-O-Matic Can't Handle My Cat's Pee 12-Step Program."



11 comments:

  1. I hope you're not touching any of that cat litter yourself! That gift wasn't for you, it was for him. He knew that now you're pregnant, he would have litter-box duty.

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  2. Oh,I'm laughing. I'm also glad you posted this. I've often looked at these and assumed they didn't work but I did always wonder. You may have just saved me $100. :)

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  3. I've never even heard of one of these things - but then I don't have a cat. Maybe take the cat, the litter and the machine that doesn't work back to the store for a demo on how it doesn't do what it's supposed to...?

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  4. At least you have the roomba, right?

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  5. He gets an "A" for effort. Hope he solves the problem before he loses his mind and his $100 on this lemon.

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  6. We have friends who bought the 'clean machine', it worked fairly well, until the motor started to run while one of the cats was 'in process' after that, he refused to use it, and started using the rug at the other end of the room, go figure, Cats are a pain in the litter box.

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  7. Your poor hubby! Bless his heart, he tries!

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  8. Teehee...I am not laughing at you but with you...and a little at your poor hubby's misery :)
    Now, about the huge child in the sink...
    A week at camp is DIRTY. And unfortunately, there is only a shower at camp. That big boy can't handle a shower (no matter how I wish he could). He has autism and the noise from a shower So overwhelms him. Besides all that, he is just too darned cute to NOT put in the sink and take pictures :)
    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog yesterday and sharing in the love!

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  9. LMAO...I think the litter-o-matic is actually spelled H-u-s-b-a-n-d, hey you've gotta milk the pregnancy while you can!

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  10. Perhaps your husband will come up with a new, improved version that he can patent and sell and make a small fortune so his efforts will be better appreciated.
    PS Did you name your elderly cat after Charles? I think that's a great name for a cat!

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  11. Wow, seriously I have had two of these, and I had 4 cats. I notice if we don't put the litter in right, there should be a line, the motor will over work to get the clumps out...and one of mine is like yours I swear he pee's like a man! And it works great! Keeps down the smells in the house too!
    Sorry you got a lemon...have him make sure it is not over filled.

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