Monday, November 10, 2008

Wary Googlers

A friend of mine is starting a blog and I was helping her with it today (it was a paid service so I did my best to be professional). I used my own blog as an example and showed her the stats section where I can check where the visits to my blog are coming from. I clicked on the first search engine hit to illustrate the nifty feature that allows you to see what people are searching to arrive at your blog. What were the search words you ask? In the past I've had such gems as Bret Michael's hair, Furries, and many others. This one, though, takes the cake: Hugh Hefner STD. Thank goodness she is a friend or I would have been mortified. We both had a hearty laugh about that and moved on. Just remember, if the urge to uncover Hef's seedy medical history strikes you, have no fear. Just do a google search and Another Gray Hair will be the 9th entry. I'm here to please and provide massive amounts of useless information.

Since my post about Hef did not actually answer the question as to whether or not he has an STD, I thought I should address that now for wary Googlers looking for answers. According to the ever-reputable Wiki Answers, yes, Hef did have an STD, syphilis, in 1991 from an unknown partner. We can all rest easy tonight knowing that this question is answered and that Hef has recovered from syphilis to live a long happy life full of pure American debauchery. Go Hef!

In completely unrelated news the Wii has become a major source of contention in my home. I feel like we should be interviewed for the next E! "Curse of the Lottery" special where we could serve as a cautionary tale for families who win small household luxuries in Bingo games. Sure, you think you're lucky now. Just wait! WAIT! Ever since I purchased the Legos Star Wars game for $19.99 (that's the only reason I bought it!), my son has become completely obsessed with it. He dreams about it, talks about it, and collapses into a ball of desperation when I deny him the privilege. This week is not going well for him. Due to his unpleasant attitude when asked to complete simple household chores (I insist that my kids do these things with a "willing spirit"—think that's a bit of a stretch?), he has lost his Wii privileges for two days. His response to this punishment was similar to that of a rabid, Ferrell cat trapped in a small space. I confined him in his room and shut the door but I never, ever want to hear those noises again.

To add insult to injury, my husband, who knows that my son's Wii privileges have been revoked is, at this very moment, attached to the Wii remote giving Darth Vader a run for his Lego money. He's got the volume down to conceal his illicit game play from my son. What a gent.


  1. I must admit I didn't come here looking for information on Hef's STD. Who knew?
    Glad to hear you're sharing the bloggy wealth, and I'm sorry the Wii time is not going so well, at least for your son....

  2. You would be shocked (or maybe not) at the Google search terms that lead people to my site. Just think about it. The title of my blog contains the term "Farmer's Wife" and I regularly talk about the farmer's daughter. Oh my!!! But here's the very strange part. Everyone of these naughty boy searches.... 100%, EVERYONE comes from the middle east or Indonesia.
    -Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

  3. Way back before recorded history, in the days when I was a College student, one of my instructors in Business Administration always said that there is NO such thing as BAD publicity. In light of full disclosure, I must admit, that time and place in my life was before Al Gore invented the Internet. Still, I think it's grand that I can tell everyone what to Google if they want to read the Literary Genius of my Daughter-in-laws' Ravings.

  4. Well, that was quite enlightening about Hef. I was becoming increasingly worried that he'd never suffered from an STD. Whew!
    What mother of a son has not been through the taking away of video game/computer privileges. Something, by the way, they never forget!

  5. i'm with sean. no need for us to be cut off from the wii just because our son is being bad.

  6. J...thanks for you time!!! You have been so helpful!!! I really appreciate you adding my team's website to your blog!!!!

  7. I must not be writing racy enough entries or using colorful language because I don't get any strange searches. However, I'm now glad to know where to come when I have inquiries about the questionable sexual pasts of celebrities. Thanks for providing such a valuable service. :-)