Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dum Dum Dilemma


At a recent Bunco game I listened to a Mom talk about her only daughter. She spoke of her struggles with her daughter's drive-thru confusion. Because she got a lollipop every time she went through the bank, she assumed she would get one when she went through the pharmacy drive-thru and any other drive-thru window. This Mom, a funny and relatable woman, came up with a solution: she'd keep a stash of suckers in her glove box so whenever they went through the drive-thru her daughter wouldn't be plagued with disappointment. She started it a couple months ago and now is frustrated because she doesn't feel like she can stop. I smiled. I couldn't help myself. This is something I would never do, at least not now: 7 years into parenting and on child number 3.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm a hard ass or that I'm simply out of energy but disappointment is a lesson my kids learn at least once a day. I pride myself on it. I'm so pro-disappointment, in fact, that my kids don't get suckers at the bank unless the teller offers them. I refuse to ask for them and my van has tinted back windows so whether or not they get a Dum Dum after I complete a transaction is a crap shoot.

The whole conversation made me appreciate the benefit of hindsight and multiple children. Sure, we contribute to the population problem but we only have one guinea pig: the first child. The lessons we learn through trial and error with that child shape our entire parenting experience. I'm sure Truman would be delighted to learn that he taught me a most important lesson: Disappointment is a dish best served hot. And often.



7 comments:

  1. I'm with you 100% on this point! After seeing all the kids these days who have horrible entitlement attitudes, I pledged long ago that my girls would learn pretty quickly that disappointment is a fact of life. Better to learn it from me now than from their therapists in 20 years.

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  2. I wish I had a dollar for every time I say to the kids, "Life's not fair. Get used to it." (after being told that something WASN'T FAIR!)

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  3. this is so true. i too would never do that but have learned through a few yrs of parenting. I always call gabi my guinea pig, poor girl it is amazing she is so great now.

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  4. Thanks for sharing Julianne, hee hee. Parenting is definitely an experiment in trial and error, I am too quickly learning. I am sure if I am able to have another, I'll do a lot of things different the second time around.

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  5. This is hilarious. I am SOOO with you!

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  6. I love this! It was like reading my own thoughts.

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