Monday, March 5, 2007

The Birds and the Bees

My friend and I had a discussion at dinner this weekend that
managed to scare the pants off of me. We were talking about the inevitable "birds and the bees" discussion with our kids. She has
a five year old little girl and my son is four so these talks are still a
safe distance away but they are there, looming in a dark corner, laughing at
our fear.





I’m not doing very well in the field of sexual education thus far. According to most experts (and by most
experts I mean Dr. Phil and Supernanny), you should refrain from referring to
your child’s private parts with nonsense words like “pee-pee” and
“wee-wee.” Strike one. My son would hear the word, “penis” (not
from my mouth—I chuckle just thinking about saying it) and wonder what the heck
I was talking about. The fact that one
paragraph ago, I referred to sex as “the birds and the bees” does not bode well
for my future. Experts also suggest
that you should answer children honestly when they ask you questions about
sex. Strike two. My son recently asked me where babies come
from and I was taken off guard and mentioned something about God and tummies. I’m not really
sure what I said and this, I imagine, would not please Nanny Jo.





I guess I am in need of some education in this arena. I want my kids to communicate with me about
these things openly.  The first step in accomplishing this goal is going to
have to be taken by yours truly. I need to let
go of the taboo that surrounds talking about sex myself so that my kids don’t
feel silly or embarrassed when asking me questions. Until I am able to utter the word, “penis” without cracking a smile, I am
completely worthless as a sex educator. I’m off to stand in front of the mirror and utter the words “penis” and
“vagina” five times in succession. Say
it with me now…



11 comments:

  1. penis vagina penis vagina penis vagina! See that was not so hard!
    My parenting techniques are deny deny deny! I recommend it to all! If they come to you say wow I had no idea! That is amazing! How are babies born? I have no idea. That sort of thing. It works well for us!

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  2. Maggie started to become very interested in where babies come from about the time Stacie was pregnant with Kaylin. I blame Ben and Stacie for having to have "the talk" when Maggie was four. Maggie, of course, also asks lots of questions pertaining to her own arrival because of the fact that she is adopted.
    She learned the fact that babies usually come out of their mommies "bottom ends" (I wasn't ready to utter 'vagina' yet either. . . we just talked about the fact there are three holes "down there" and what each one was for. She was very clear, and in no uncertain terms, that she would EVER have a baby come out of her bottom OR her tummy or anywhere else. She said she would adopt her babies just like we did.
    A few weeks after this discussion, out of the clear blue when we were driving in the car one night, she asks me, "Mommy - how do women keep from getting a baby in their tummy if they don't want one there?" I told her there were ways that a woman could "protect herself" and she would learn more about that when she was older.
    She paused for a while, then quietly said, "do you mean like karate?"
    I said, "yes, baby...that would do the trick."

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  3. Yes, Melinda, I'm thinking denial is a very good place to start!

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  4. Aunt Becky-
    That "karate" comparison is classic. I think I might use that when Truman gets a little older. We're probably going to enroll him in Karate anyway. It's the perfect segue.

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  5. My 3 1/2 year old some does say Penis and knows that Daddy has one and mommmy does not. He does call my boobs "nursings", because when our daughter was born, it was constantly, I can't help you right now, I'm nursing Kaitlyn, so they became my nursings.
    Aren't kids so cute?

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  6. When Chris hit "the age", I bought a simple little book that stated the facts, gave it to him, said "Read it, if you got any questions, ask" and, under my breath, said, 'your momma' It must have been a good book, he didn't ask, and I didn't tell. Then, I passed the book down and said ask your brother, he knows everything. worked for me!! Good luck!

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  7. Emily-
    It's always good when our kids come up with nicknames for our boobs, isn't it? They get so darn much exposure when baby #2 comes along that they become an unavoidable focal point!
    Very cute.

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  8. Papa Dale-
    Your philosophy of sex ed is quite similar to my own parent's: give 'em a book and send them on their way!
    We turned out fine, right?

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  9. No talk or book from my parents, I think. Public school, 6th grade, answered many of my questions via "the secret question box". I'm still learning and practice when I can.

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  10. Please tell me that I never have to tell my sweet baby girl about that!! I was hoping that she would never figure it out!!!!

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  11. ROFLOL! I do use "the words" but then I was an RN and my patients would have laughed if I had to check wee wee's and tee tee's. Bahahahaha!
    In foster parent training they made us stand up and say penis and vagina five times. ROFLOL! Crazy ol' world.
    Blessings,
    ~Toni~

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