Monday, April 23, 2007

Minor Adjustments

“My pee-pee is sticking up! Wait! My pee-pee is sticking

This is what I hear seventy percent of the time when I strap
my son into his car seat. Something
about getting into his car seat causes his stuff to get all twisted around and
require adjustment. I have yet to come
across another child who this happens to regularly. Obviously my lack of a pee pee makes it difficult to relate to this predicament. I simply don’t understand what’s going
on down there and why, by some strange twist (no pun intended) of fate, his car
seat causes genital distress. Maybe
it’s the brand of seat. I should
contact Britax and inquire whether anyone has returned the Marathon based on
its impact on the male anatomy. I might
be due a refund.

My husband is much more sympathetic about this phenomenon. I’ve asked him to explain to me what is
happening and he just says, “Leave him alone. He needs to adjust.” OK. That does not help me at all. What does he mean by “adjust”? That seems like a fairly vague term to me. Why does the position of my son’s pee-pee
require such urgent attention? Clearly
I am missing something and I don’t think I’ll ever quite get it.

My current goal is to get him to stop screaming
about his pee-pee every time we get in the car. It creates quite a scene as I am leaving the park or the store and
my four-year-old son starts screaming at the top of his lungs about his privates. We’ve gotten some perplexed
and disapproving looks from passersby. I want to say to them, “Oh, he just needs to adjust his junk every time
we get into the car. It’s no big
deal.” This doesn’t sound too good when
I say it out loud. I imagine most women
would have the same reaction that I do and most men would give a knowing,
sympathetic look. “Adjusting” is
something they can all relate to. We’re
teaching my son that term right now. Hopefully we will make the transition from, “My pee-pee is sticking up!”
to, “I need to adjust,” very soon. He
seems to have an innate understanding of the term. Go figure.


  1. Having observed this behavior 1st hand this weekend, I can only say that I don't believe he got this affliction from my side of the family, if he did, his Uncles and his Daddy must have learned to "adjust" quickly, and without verbal complaint, because I do not recall any of them being as verbal about the need as my grandson seems to be. Good luck, and' hopefully, this too, will pass, (soon, I hope.) You forgot to detail the Trumster's reaction to having to sleep in the play room over the weekend, "But, I don't have a bed,..... but, why can't Pop Pop sleep on the sofa???, but, I'm so tired!!"

  2. At least he is shouting "pee-pee". My sisters taught Camden to call his a doodle! Oh, I can't wait for them to have kids!!

  3. Dangit Papa Dale. You spoiled a perfectly good blog idea!

  4. I would think it's like coming out of you bra or a bikini top on one side. It may not hurt, but you just can't leave it that way. You've gotta make an adjustment because your stuff isn't where it's supposed to be and it feels aukward.

  5. That is actually a really great comparison, Uncle Carni. I see it in a whole new light now. Thanks (yes, I'm being serious).