Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Shopping Cart Rage

I went to Wal-Mart today to make an impulse purchase and was
stunned to learn the impact of one faulty wheel on my mental health. The cart that I was provided with was one of
the few that was dry (it was a rainy day) but it had a flaw. Either from too much wear or some type of Jackass-esque
incident, one of the front wheels did not touch the ground and the other one
steered sharply to the right. Managing
both children and using a great deal of force just to keep the cart in a
straight line was enough to make my blood pressure skyrocket.

I was probably five feet from the cart pick-up area when I
discovered my cart’s malfunction but instead of taking it back for a better
model, I decided to deal with it and maintain my current level of anger. Taking it back would mean moving my daughter
and son from one cart to another as well as two raincoats and an umbrella. This would inevitably lead to a series of

“Mommy, why did we change carts? Why do you hate that other cart? Why are you so mad? Why are you
yelling at me? Why is your face so
red? Who’s going to fix that other
cart? Can I have a sticker?”

It simply wasn’t worth it. I made my way to the electronics section, all the while fantasizing
about the methods I could use to annihilate that cart. There are surprisingly few, given the sturdy
metal frame. As I was leaving the
parking lot, still fuming about the shopping cart, I realized how ridiculous I
was being. It was the grocery store
version of road rage. Those evil elderly Wal-Mart greeters have a secret
vendetta against me. I’m pretty sure
that this isn’t true but it’s what I decided to believe for the ten minutes I
was in the store.  My name is Julianne
Hale and I am an egomaniacal victim of shopping cart rage. What are the chances there is a support group for that?


  1. Ahhhh the demon possessed carts, I have been a victim of those as well. I am sure it is the making of those "greeters". They see woman come in already looking frazzled bringing in their children and they say "here you go my lady take "this" cart". So you think wow how nice I will take this cart and off you go unsuspecting of what lies in your future. Meanwhile the greeter is walkie talking the other greeters and telling them to meet in the back where they sit and watch the videos and laugh their butts off as we (the poor helpless mothers) try to manage the possessed cart and our children. I think we should raid walmart after the Y today and make them take us to the back so we can see for ourselves.

  2. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a conspiracy against shopping Mamas. Bastards.

  3. Those kind of carts should be illegal!! I too have been a victim ;)

  4. It's nice to know I'm not alone Candice.