Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Friends with Benefits

What’s the only thing better than having a boat? Having friends with a boat. What’s the only thing better than having
friends with a boat? Having two friends
with boats. Two of our good friends
have purchased boats in the past month. This is great for us as I have no desire to be a boat owner nor do I
want to insure, store or maintain a boat. Good friends with boats means having the ability to enjoy the benefits
of a boat without the hassles. It’s a
nice spot to be in. Note to the
Tunnells and the Byrnes: The Hales will
happily tag along for any boat trips you want to take. We won’t be total freeloaders though. We’ll chip in for gas! Gotta save face with my boatin’ friends.

BoatI have yet to ride on either of the boats despite a
couple offers to do so. I’ve either had
conflicts or been sick and have managed to miss out on the boating fun thus far. My son, however, has not had my bad luck. He spent the night with the Tunnells last
night and got to take a trip out on their boat. He was pretty excited about it and I am really bummed that I
missed his first private boat ride. My
regret level reached new heights when Alyson (Mrs. Tunnell) called me last
night after the boat ride was over.  In a scene straight out of South Park, my son, the type A clean-freak little boy that cohabitates
with me, christened the waters of east Tennessee with (how do I put this
delicately) his own personal solid waste.

Apparently, in the middle of the lake, my son told Alyson he
had to go potty. When she told him to
jump in the lake he looked at her like she was crazy. It took her a few minutes to figure out that he didn’t have to
pee. They were at least a half hour
from any facilities and she told him he had two choices. He could either go in the water or hold it
until they returned to shore. Apparently, he had to go pretty badly because he chose the first
option. He jumped off of the boat,
removed his trunks and went. Now, this
probably is not the most pleasant story and I would not be telling it if I did
not find so much humor in Alyson’s actions during the event. She had her camera out and took a shot of
him doing the deed and then another shot of the end result (that’s right
folks. She took a picture of the
poo). She sent it to me last night in a
slide show with a little narrative at the bottom explaining what each picture
was. I nearly peed in my pants when I
saw it. Here’s my dilemma: Do I save these pictures for my son’s
scrapbook? With the current popularity
of the scrapbooking industry, I wonder if there is a special paper for this
particular event. Maybe going number
two in a body of water for the first time is considered some sort of milestone.


  1. I'm pretty sure you can get a special page for any 'First' that can possibly happen in a child's life at the neighborhood scrap book store, that said, do you really think the Boy's first floater is worth a Kodak moment? Alyson is truly a good friend to help preserve these special moments, however, you neglected to tell us if she checked for snapping turtles before she let him enter the water. I am grateful they weren't boating on lake Decatur, our Town still uses it for a water supply, and, this does bring back memories of the Tupperware story with the Lil' Sweet Tater.

  2. You can come out with us on any Tuesday you want to!!!

  3. I am sure you knew this, but that previous post was from Chase. In case any of the Another Gray Hair readers are interested Tuesdays are "Topless Tuesdays" on our boat. If you are interested let me know, Chase hasn't found any takers yet!
    It was quite a site watching T taking care of business in the lake! Glad I had my camera!

  4. A few months before we were married (ten years now - wow!), we went to Castle Rock Lake in Wisconsin with our friends Charlie and Kelly. It was a very cold Memorial Day weekend - - nice for boating, but not so much for actually getting in the water. What to do after you have had a few beers and have to pee though? Yes, I have a lovely picture that Kelly snapped of me hanging my rear off the back of the boat, making my contribution to Castle Rock Lake....though I didn't do it up quite like Truman (just #1 - - no bombs away) Just the same, I shall treasure it always. I am sure Truman will see the humor in his someday as well.

  5. I've always been grateful we had bathrooms on our boats. Sadly, we're out of the boating business now and into RVing.
    Great fun at the meeting last night. You've got me journaling again!