Friday, July 6, 2007

NASCAR-Free Zone

Anyone need some NASCAR gear? It’s top quality stuff. There’s a jacket, a hat, a T-shirt, a picture frame and a leather bag;
each item officially licensed by NASCAR. In just two to four weeks our family will be the proud owners of this
merchandise. We even get to pick the
driver of our choice. All thanks to my
husband who is one of the few people on this earth who will pick up a losing
lottery ticket off of the ground, fill out the back, throw it in an envelope
and mail it to the second chance address. What could be better?

I grew up in Darlington County, South Carolina, just a few
miles from the speedway and NASCAR is not very high up on my lists of favorite
things. It hovers somewhere between
getting a cavity filled and having a pap smear. My husband is a NASCAR fan in the same way that the chick in the
corner at a frat party slurring her words with a Virginia Slim
dangling between her lips is a smoker. He’s a social race fan. He
doesn’t keep up with the races in the papers (if he did, he’d have no problem
because our small town paper actually has a NASCAR section!) nor does he watch
them at home but he does enjoy watching a race with his friends at a
party. And he goes on a pilgrimage each
year to Talladega in the spring for a weekend of NASCAR, poor hygiene and

Thankfully, that is the extent of my husband’s NASCAR
involvement. He doesn’t wear NASCAR
merchandise and I am proud of this fact. This could all change in two to four weeks when that merchandise arrives
in all of its garish, logo-laden glory to poison my NASCAR-free zone. Anyone got a proven antidote to NASCAR
poisoning? I’m thinking a couple of
Polo shirts and a croquet set ought to do the trick.


  1. Hey, if you can't win the lottery, a Dick Trickle jacket has just got to be the next best thing!!!! NASCAR, ya gotta love it! and, you have to pay attention to keep up with the rolling commercials making left turns, again, and, again, and, again, and, OH! LOOK!, another left turn!!!!!!

  2. Yeah, a Dick Trickle jacket IS the next best thing. Frankly, I'd rather have a 12 pack of coke.

  3. Don't fight it, just roll with it. Maybe next you'll get to start a race. Woo-hoo.
    Hey, sounds like your husband's a pretty lucky guy. Send him out savaging for lottery tickets more often!

  4. I don't get it. Did the NASCAR crap come from a lottery ticket?

  5. Marsha-
    He IS a lucky guy, the luckiest I know. He once found a scratched off lottery ticket on the side of the road that was a $100 winner.

  6. Uncle Carni-
    Yes, the NASCAR crap came from a lottery ticket. It was a non-winning ticket that he found and sent it in to the "second chance sweepstakes" address on the back. Nobody takes the time to do that so he won. This is the SECOND time we've won a second chance sweepstakes.