Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty little secret. I am a clogger. Yep,
that’s right, a clogger. Every Tuesday
night I head to the dance hall to clog my heart out with a bunch of
other women (and a couple of men) who share my obsession with bluegrass music
and fast-moving, toe-tapping fun. I
also try to play tennis once a week, have the “Hot Mamas” movie night once a
month, and two Mom’s Night Outs each month; not to mention the inevitable 2-3
home “buy me” parties that I get invited to. Suffice it to say, I am a busy woman.

My husband is, for the most part, very supportive of my
extracurricular activities. He is more
than happy to watch the kids while I go out and clog, play tennis, or hang out
with my friends. He realizes that this
time is important to me and that it actually makes me a better mom and wife to
get away occasionally. Last night,
however, was a different story. I
called him as I was leaving clogging to tell him I was going to get dinner with
my friend (this is what I do every week). There was a pause and I asked him what was wrong. He proceeded to tell me that he was hungry
and there was nothing to eat in the house. Well, this was not true. Granted, it was pretty slim pickins in our pantry but there was food. There were sandwiches, chips, apples,
macaroni and cheese, and pretzels. He
most certainly could have had a decent meal. After going over that list of choices with him, I got no response, just
silence. I waited. He finally spoke and in a morose voice said,
“OK. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get home.” He was clearly upset and this was highly
unusual. I decided to let it go and
enjoy my meal.

When I got home, I found him sitting on the couch, spooning
lima beans into his mouth directly out of the pot that they were cooked
in. As I entered the kitchen I
discovered that he had taken the pre-made Beef Stroganoff Crock Pot meal (the ones that come in the bag and all you have to do is throw them in the
Crock pot all day) out of the container and poured it into a pot. He then attempted to cook it on the
stovetop. Obviously, his attempt at
instant Beef Stroganoff gratification was not successful. The Stroganoff was tossed and he ended up
cooking a can of lima beans. What a
delicious, well-rounded meal!

It consistently amazes me what poor communicators men can
be. Last night I discovered two things
about my husband:

  1. A hot meal is very important to him.

  2. He can be a little passive aggressive at 8:30 PM when he's hungry and alone, with no ramen noodles to comfort him.

So, from now on, I will be purchasing some type of pre-made
entrée that he can throw in the oven for himself on Tuesday nights. I am more than willing to make sacrifices
for my family but giving up clogging is not one of them. On Tuesday nights, I gots to get my clog on!


  1. When my hubby is hungrey and nothing is around, watch out, if you thought a "real" 3 year olds temper tantrums were bad, watch out for my husband's ones. haha
    Kathleen B

  2. Jacquelyn-
    I knew you'd appreciate my point of view :)

  3. Kathleen-
    Is your husband, by any chance, a room wrecker? Maybe you should try "1 2 3 Magic." It's done wonders for my son!

  4. You all "Mothers" need to discuss expectations (his & hers) with your husbands which should make for a more harmonious relationships. Toot, it comes accross a little too hard - from where I sit. Recommend you write, then let it set for at least an hour, then read it aloud before publishing it. Thank you for giving us all a format to exchange ideas with each other.

  5. Julianne,
    I guess I knew your blog was meant to be funny, but that's because I was there last night and knew that Sean wasn't really mad when you talked to him.
    You and I get three precious hours a week to actually be something other than moms. Our time clogging and the Sticky Fingers dinner afterward are pretty important to me as well. We revel in the successes of our husbands at work and have an enormous amount of pride in the things that our children do. But it's nice also to accomplish something of our very own that we can enjoy and feel like we are good at.
    I think our husbands are both well aware that we really need a little time to do something outside of raising kids and cooking meals. And I think Michael and Sean would agree that a can of lima beans (which I insist on calling butterbeans) is a small price to pay for the sanity of your wife.

  6. This entry hit a nerve with some readers. The thought of my husband alone, shoveling lima beans into his mouth on the couch was too much for some and I guess I understand why. I was simply trying to poke fun at him but it backfired. I was really shocked by the reaction that it got because I never, for a second, saw it coming.
    So, it was rough night but I did learn a lesson. If I am going to post a deeply personal blog on the Internet for everyone to see, I must be willing to deal with the consequences, good or bad. Up to this point, they have always been good. I can now officially say that my writing has hit a nerve.
    I plan on spending the next few entries embellishing my day-to-day activities with my husband and children, earning that illustrious “Mom of the Year Award” that everyone talks about.

  7. Jacquelyn-
    Dinner's on me next Tuesday night. Yes, I know you won't be there. That's why I offered :)

  8. J,
    I personally thought the vision of a grown man that was unable to feed himself anything other than a can of lima beans comical. Perhaps that is because I can see the same thing occurring at my house. You are doing a great job, keep them coming!

  9. I definitely know who he is related to....when we are running late getting home, Chris always says, "let's just go out to eat." I rarely want to, because it is expensive and not realy all that healthy for two kids who always insist on burgers (Maggie) or chicken fingers (Aleita) and fries. I say, "let's just go home and make a sandwich," and then I get "that face." You know the face, I see.

  10. Thanks Angie. I appreciate the props. We'll miss you tomorrow.

  11. Becky-
    Unfortunately, my oldest child wants chicken fingers or PBJ no matter where we are. He pretty much hates my cooking, and everyone elses! And, yes, I learned the hard way. Sandwiches are not an acceptable dinner. Who knew?

  12. Now that you can attach pictures to your blog, please share with everyone the picture of you in your priceless clogging costume!

  13. Spaz-
    Are you crazy? I'd like to preserve SOME of my dignity :)

  14. This sounds like a great "you might be a redneck..." story. Do you where clogs? Are they wooden shoes that make a lot of noise?

  15. I think Sean is being dramatic and wants you to think he's not capable of feeding himself, or reading directions that say "slow cook ALL DAY"

  16. Uncle Carni-
    We're on the same page!