Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Festivus Tour of Homes

I am filled with the Christmas spirit today, a nice little cocktail of envy
and self-pity. I went on a tour of
homes last night with some friends. After a robust meal and some drinks we embarked on a journey that would
take us to four different houses in a small area of the city. Each of the homes was decked out in an
absurd amount of Christmas cheer. The
houses were, of course, miraculously clean. Each of the dining room tables was dinner-ready with beautiful holiday
china and crystal surrounding amazing centerpieces.  Every shelf was filled with Christmas chochkies of all
varieties. One house had so many Santa
Claus statues that an attempt to count them would result in the same outcome as
an attempt to count the stars in the sky.

Every path leading to every home was impeccably decorated
with tasteful luminaries and impressive landscaping. Aside from one home that took us on a nostalgic trip back to
1993, complete with elaborate floral wallpaper and puffy window treatments; the
homes were all flawlessly decorated with the ever-unattainable (for me at
least) attention to detail that makes one house stand out from the
rest. Each hostess provided a plethora
of finger food and refreshments. They
were all extremely sweet in a southern Paula Dean kind of way. They drew our attention to the especially
creative Christmas d├ęcor and explained to their captivated audience where their
inspiration came from. We all listened
and nodded thinking things like, “Perfume bottles on a Christmas tree? How clever” and “Oh, Santa Claus and Mardi
Gras. I get the connection.” And, at the time, we really did.

The tastefully creative unique decorations displayed by
these women of abundant means made my
Christmas-tree-decorated-only-in-Pez-dispensers and garden-gnome-dressed-in-a-Santa-suit
ideas seem silly and, frankly, a little pathetic. I definitely enjoyed the tour of homes and I did, despite my
cynicism, get a little dose of Christmas spirit. I think, though, that my friends and I should start a tour of
homes for the domestically challenged next year in order to counteract the effects of the real tour of homes. We could call it a “Festivus Tour of Homes,” a tour of homes for the
rest of us.


  1. Grandma Mary and I would love to have a photo of the Pez tree, and we promise to not make Charlie Brown comparisons (No, really, heh,heh). In my mis-spent youth I associated with a couple of those Southern Belles who hard been to Finishing School and knew the True Meaning of "Oh my, how nice!". It strikes a chord in my cold hum-bug heart to hear that you have now been exposed to the true meaning of a below Mason-Dixon Chrsitmas. That really transilates to "My tree is bigger and my Baby Jesus is much cuter than yours, but I feel good about myself because I let some poor, underprivaliged folks walk through my house and watched them eat their heart out" Don't you just love it when Scrooge shows up?

  2. There must be a copywrite violation in there somewhere. I mean, without the "quotes" is it really "Christmas?" Or "Paula Dean?" I would join your festivus. All two strands of our Christmas lights shine proudly all season long.

  3. Papa Dale-
    Southern women are such a unique species aren't they? I am one but I'm a non-conformist. Who knows, my day may come.

  4. Edwardian-
    We're on. Festivus Tour of Homes next year. We'll do our house and then yours. I'll have corn dogs and beer served on recycled styrofoam. You can serve twinkies and Moon Pies (no need for plates as they are already wrapped conveniently in cellophane). Perfect.

  5. "That's nice!" haha
    Add our names to the tour. Probably though next year our tree will have more ornaments on it, the skirt will stay there and not mysteriously disappear, the cats won't be drinking out of the water, and you won't find creatures living in the tree. haha Although, it is a pretty tree. We cut it off the farm, it is a Cedar. Smells really nice, but a bit stickly.
    I do like seeing what other people do. I saw recently in a mag. for Thanksgiving, taking bottles all shapes and sizes and mason jars, then putting all different types of candles in them. It made for a nice table decoration.

  6. KathleenB-
    OK, you've been added to the tour but only if your tree skirt mysteriously disappears, the cats drink out of the water, and there ARE creatures living in the tree. These three things are prerequisites for the Festivus Tour of Homes.