Friday, December 15, 2006

Naturally Homely

If good health was a given, would you rather live a shorter
life (around 70) and be effortlessly hot or live a longer life (around 85) and
be, well, not so hot?

This is the theoretical, ever-so-philosophical question
posed by my friend Jacquelyn at lunch today. It definitely got me thinking. She would choose to die young and hot. I think, if health was a given, I would choose a longer life. I realize that this question is completely
absurd but it is the stuff of good conversation and debate and I am always game
for either. 

What the question really boils down to is this: How much value do we place on physical
beauty in our society? Is it worth 15
years of your life? It is, at least in
theory, to Jacquelyn. That’s quite a
statement. What is effortless beauty
worth to me? And, if it is effortless,
doesn’t that render some of its innate value meaningless? Wouldn’t it be much more satisfying to
achieve a high ranking on the hotness scale through my own hard work rather
than just coming by it easily through liposuction, gastric bypass, or
sacrificing 15 years of my life in some grand theoretical life wager?

In order to determine my answer I need to clarify some
things with Jacquelyn (this is her question after all). If I choose to live a longer life, can I
make myself hot through exercise, diet and good skin care or am I just doomed
to a naturally homely existence regardless of what steps I take to enhance my
appearance? Can I change my mind when I
hit 65? What constitutes “good
health”? These are the things that I
need to know before I can provide an intelligent answer to this question. It’s a really important one as it is very
realistic and the answer impacts my life a great deal.

Next week’s question:

Would you sacrifice one of your thumbs for a lifetime of
financial freedom? Think about it.


  1. I want to die young. And I really don't cair if I'm hot or not. I know that sound really sick and horriable of me, but it really isn't. Look at this way, we all know the old people who are just waiting to die. Once you pass a certin age, you have done all you can and there isn't that much left, but death. So when 65-70 rolls around, I want to be done. I'm one of the few who doesn't fear death, so I think that is why I feel like that. My poor great-grandma tells me how that only thing she has left to do is die, but she is so afraid of that that she just won't. So yeah, on that note...If it was my left hand, take that thumb, I need the money.

  2. My left, arthritic thumb that hurts all the time?? YOU BETCHA!!!! Now, unless your name is Cher, there comes a time that the only person who thinks you are HOT!! is (with any luck) the person you have chosen to grow old with, please, don't let this get back to Grandma Mary, when her ego gets inflated, I have Hell to pay, but, she's still pretty hot, and I expect I'll still think that in about 20 years when we both start pushing that 4 score mark. Of course, Granny and I both work out regularlly, eat lots of organic veggies, never touch red meat, and never ever touch alcholic beverages, oh, and I have been know to ocasionally embellish the truth ever so lightly too. So, unless Jacquelyn is a close blood relative of Cher, my guess is she's just having some sort of red wine induced fantacy. (Jacquelyn, don't be offended by the ravings of a fat old grey haired man, Julianne wil tell you I'm not to be listened to too often.)

  3. No, you can't change your mind when you hit 65 because by that point you would have already reaped so many benefits from your years of hotness that you would have a definite debt to pay.
    "Good Health" would be the absence of any terminal type illness or degenerative disease. You would still age and of course slow down some, but you would be in top shape for whatever age you were--let's say the top 90th percentile of good health for that age. And this would be for whichever option you chose. So, it's 70, good health, and hot OR 85, good health, and homely. The only variables are age and hotness.
    I will allow the possibility of aspiring to some level of hotness through diet and exercise if you choose to live to 85. However, it will not be the effortless natural beauty that you would get with the other option. And I'm talking about roll out of bed looking like a million dollars hot...all you have to do is sacrifice a mere 15 years...15 long ugly years.

  4. Hmm...I just thought of a better option. I'll just give up my thumb--since money can most certainly buy me some level of hotness.

  5. I totally do not get this concept. I would say that this is pretty much superficial, mindless fantasy generated by the Angelinas and Brad Pitts in this world. Sorry to be so serious but let's focus on the more important and lasting things of life: faith, family and helping others in this life. If we really want to know what our "hotness rating" is, let's ask our "significant others" and spouses in our lives. They are the ones that matter when it comes to "hotness".

  6. Linda-
    Wow, you've got a great attitude about the whole thing. And, it's good to know what your thumb is worth to you :)

  7. Papa Dale-
    I'm telling Grandma Mary that you think she is hot! :) My husband thinks I'm hot too, so does Jacquelyn's. We just really like to sit around and discuss ridiculous scenarios and wagers. It's what we do. I live for stuff like that. Remember, I was a philosophy major. Pointless discourse is my forte.

  8. Jacquelyn-
    Thanks for clarifying. I guess I am in for 15 long years of homelines :)
    You and I can't be friends anymore. YOur hotness is too intimidating.

  9. Mom-
    There really isn't anything to get. Jacquelyn and I just discuss ridiculous topics like this in jest and I always learn something deep and meaningful about myself in the process (that is sarcasm, by the way). It's a joke but it certainly does say something about the value that we place on appearances in our society.

  10. Do I get to pick which thumb I'll lose, or will it be chosen for me? (LOL)