Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Gluttony Fest and the Gandhi Diet

We are back from our cruise. After four solid days of boozing, eating, and even smoking a
little hookah (I’ve told a couple of people this and they immediately assumed that I was referring to marijuana—I’m not. It is a Middle-Eastern flavored tobacco); we are tired, broke, and
bloated. Having never been on a cruise
before, I did not realize how indulgent and excessive it was. Everything was in excess. The booze were pushed on us and flowed like
a river in the form of fruity, delicious drinks that went down easy and begged to
be refilled. The food was really good and
available with no limitations 24/7. My
husband actually ordered two appetizers and two entrees one night just because
he could. Do not think for a second
that this extravagance prevented him from ordering dessert. He did and finished it, all the while
consuming massive quantities of beer and wine.

It was a little slice of heaven for both of us but it is
over now. It’s time to face reality and
reality is not pretty. Our waistlines
have grown, our checking account has shrunk, and our bodies are still
dehydrated from the alcohol and weary from lack of sleep. We’ve got a solution, though. In order to make ourselves feel better about
our four-day gluttony fest, we have decided to go on a diet together. This is a first for us and it has already
(just two days in) proven to be an interesting ride.

My husband is a stranger to dieting. He’s always been fairly thin and never
really had to watch his weight. As they
often do, things changed when he turned 30. His waistline started to expand and he began to feel the effects of his
fondness for McDonalds and Taco Bell. I
have taken a little bit of pleasure in this because I have always had to watch
what I eat. I do, however, want us to
be healthy and active so we have decided to do Weight Watchers. I have done it before so I know the ins and
outs of the system and I tried to give my husband a crash course.  Apparently, it didn't take. Yesterday was our first day of dieting and
when I saw him in the evening I inquired about his food intake. He announced with pride that he had ingested
only twenty calories so far (this was at 7:00 pm!!!) and that all he had done
that day was drink coffee and water. Horrified, I explained to him that fasting was not good for his body and
going all day without food and then dining on pizza and Ramen noodles was not
exactly what the creators of Weight Watchers had in mind. His response was as follows, “Fasting worked
for Gandhi.” God help me. I’ve got my work cut out for me.


  1. I thought you were not gonna do anymore diet programs. I've battled with my weight most of my life while my brother has been lean. He always let it be known how fat I was with the nick name: Fat-Boy, Chub-Chub, Tub-a-Lub the Sailor... Well it came with great pleasure to find out that he is only 5 pounds less than I am now and I weigh more than I have ever weighed. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!

  2. Uncle Carni-
    Nope. My resolution was not to sink any more money into dieting. I'm sticking to that one. Yes, I remember "Chub-Chub" well. I could always relate :)_