Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Much-Anticipated Hale Family Christmas Letter

Here it is folks. The competition was fierce this year and I lost the Christmas letter contest to my friend, Jacquelyn. Her letter was done in Microsoft Publisher and was witty and graphic-y and professional looking, everything my lowly, single-sheeted letter was not. Sometimes it sucks to have talented friends. Here's your gold-star Jacquelyn:



2007 has been a great year for the Hale family. Our son, T-Mackeral, got accepted into MENSA, the youngest member in history; and our daughter, T-Minnow, won several national beauty pageant titles. Sean won the lottery and now owns a Prius (Yee-haw!) and Julianne is a regular contributor to "O" magazine.

Wait, sorry, that's the dream life (except for the pageant thing. I just thought it was funny). Let's stick with the meaningful tradition that I started last year: the brutally honest Christmas letter. Here goes…


T-Minnow turned two in May. She is a beautiful child and could probably win pageants if that was something that both her parents did not have major ethical problems with (and if T-Minnow would stop picking her nose).  T-Minnow's major accomplishment this year was becoming "toilet learned" (that's the new PC term for potty training—I don't want to offend anyone) and expanding her vocabulary. Our favorite word that she says is, "Otay," Buckwheat style. We can't get enough of that.


T-Mackeral turned five in November.  He's getting pretty close to outwitting his Mom and Dad and could not be more ready for Kindergarten. He's a little bored in preschool but loves it none-the-less. T-Mackeral's most impressive talent was handed down to him from his late, great Great-Grandpa Mortimer who could touch his nose with his tongue. T-Mackeral takes it one step further and can actually put his tongue inside his nostril. This will no-doubt take him far in life. Julianne fully intends to send David Letterman a video and get him some exposure for his "stupid human trick."


Sean got transferred this year from the Chattanooga office to the Cleveland office and, although it was a lateral move, he has a larger staff and is closer to home. His piece of junk car is still running but has some serious malfunctions, including a faulty heater and no defrost. He has asked for a window scraper for Christmas as if that is some sort of luxury item. How sad is that? Sean continues his slow progression towards Grandpa-dom with his many projects in his workshop and homespun gardening ideas.  T-Mackeral is a carbon-copy of his Father, which, although she'll never admit it, Julianne relishes.


Julianne has had a pretty good year. Her New Year's Resolution to get published actually came true several times over. She now writes regularly for a couple of regional magazines. At 32 years old, this is the first time that Julianne has ever made good on a New Year's Resolution. This new career of hers does impact the family and causes her to, at times, under tight deadlines, neglect her children. They all survive, though, and Julianne continues to embarrass the family by documenting their daily lives on her blog (shameless plug) but they love her anyway. Thank goodness the children can't read!


The Hales had some great travels this year thanks to cousin Janet (thank you Disney Discount!) and Grandma and Grandpa Mortimer. We went to the Bahamas (just the grown-ups), Disney World and Destin, Florida. Even under the microscope of brutal honesty, we really do have a great family and a blessed life. We are so thankful for all of our friends and family. Happy Holidays to you and yours!




  1. What a great year! Hope 2008 is even better. :-)

  2. Merry Christmas and a great 2008 to you and your family.
    Great Christmas letter. We did our first one this year and it was nowhere near as clever as yours. Hopefully, next year I can be a little wittier!

  3. The much anticipated letter was received with great joy and fan-fare, TA_DAH!!! The facts seem somehow..more interesting when viewed in print. Keep up the good work, I hear The Big Opie is looking for speech writers to help with the Obama Campaign.

  4. Good for you! May 2008 be even better for you and your family!
    PS Keep in mind Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom's Cabin, neglected her 7 children while writing her prized book. So you're in good company.

  5. Laughing at your honesty.
    I hate the Christmas letters that make their children sound like saints. Especially the ones that come from the family that sits in front of me at church. Because I KNOW that it's all a LIE!
    Hope your next year is fabulous--