Monday, December 3, 2007

Quick Quiz

How many pounds of candy would you expect to receive at a small town Christmas parade?

Perhaps you think even one pound is a ridiculous estimate.

What if said town was home to an M&M Mars plant? Would that change your answer? Maybe not, but it would probably change the quality of the candy.

My children came home with two plastic grocery bags full of candy. Good candy. We're not talking candy canes and Bit O' Honey's here. We're talking Twix bars, M&M mini bags, Smarties, Skittles and Starburst. The bags were so heavy and full that my husband decided to weigh them. He hopped on the scale holding the bags and then jumped on bag-free. The difference? Eight pounds. Eight pounds of high-fructose corn syrup delight. Eight pounds of preschool crack. Eight pounds of, well, pounds on the hips and guts of my growing family. My kids think its Halloween again, only all they did was sit on the side of the road with cow-eyed looks and open grocery bags.

The parade may have encouraged sugar-induced comas and tooth decay but all was not lost. One of the last floats was sponsored by a local gym. Floating atop the sea of candy, just below the handles of the grocery bag, were several 14-day gym passes. I won't tell you where those ended up.


  1. EIGHT pounds!!!! WOW!!!! That's almost more candy than Halloween.
    Use those gym passes. Can you imagine that if all of those passes were used, how much they would lose? They are banking on them not being cashed in.

  2. Cleveland, Tennessee has the largest Christmas Parade I've ever seen, bar none, and, I'll vouch for the amount of candy, as a matter of fact, the bags didn't get weighed until after Grandma Mary and Myself had already had our fill, O.K. it might have been wrong, but it was cold, and the parade route was dark where we were sitting. They'll never miss it, and I had already ran out of Peppermint Schnapps,so...

  3. Lol. Eight pounds! What does that translate to in 'fat' pounds? About eightteen I bet. I'm coming to YOUR town for the Santa Claus parade next year, at our parade we only got a cheap t-shirt and a coupon...not even a candy cane. :(

  4. Oh, I like the Christmas look of your blog! Very festive! "Preschool crack"? What a perfect definition!