Monday, January 7, 2008

Kick in the Keister

The worst of the winter blahs appear to be behind us and my household has joined the land of the living again. My son returned to preschool today and we are all shell-shocked from the sound of the alarm clock. Three weeks without it have taken their toll and we are mourning the loss of our 8:30 wake-up time. Adieu. I even made it to the YMCA this morning. It's the first time in two months that I've breezed through those double doors. This is the equivalent of flushing $100 down the toilet so I must get back in the saddle. And, man, what a difference two months makes. The cardio room has quadrupled in size and all of the equipment is brand new. There are TV's on the majority of the machines and everything is pristine and beautiful. At 8:15, there was no wait for a treadmill so I hopped on and was reminded of what keeps me paying my dues at the Y. I love it there. My kids have a blast in the childcare center and I get to spend some quiet time with my ipod. Bliss.

As a result of my productive day thus far, I have decided that my New Year officially starts today. The past week has been a sort of 2007/2008 purgatory where I have still been trapped in holiday mode, unable to convince myself that the food free-for-all is over and life must commence again. The start of school gave me the swift kick in the keister that I needed and I'm back, armed with unrealistic resolutions and a rush of deceptive New Years energy. Unrealistic resolutions tend to have more staying power when you share them, so here goes:

  1. Get published in a national magazine.

  2. Drop 40 pounds

  3. Get in shape.

  4. Kick my Ambien dependancy.

  5. Spend more quality time with my kids every day.

  6. Spend more time outside.

  7. Spend less time in front of the computer (this might be tough in combination with #1).

  8. Blog three times a week. No exceptions (again, #6 is going to be a challenge).

  9. Kick meth habit for good.

  10. Save up for dental work (see #9).

  11. Play more ping-pong. This one's pretty random but I got a table for Christmas).

  12. Learn Photoshop.

  13. Be in bed by 10pm every night.

  14. Wake up at 6am every day.

  15. Do strength training daily.

  16. Purchase a pop-up or travel trailer.

  17. Earn a steady income.

With all of these contradictory goals, I should be on the fast track to failure. Happy New Year everyone!


  1. You goofball...I hope none of your readers actually believes #9. Were you just seeing if anyone was paying attention?

  2. I just put it in there to make myself feel better about #4 (a legit addiction) and I threw the teeth thing in there to ensure (hopefully) that people know I'm kidding.

  3. What's that old joke about my Tennessee Girlfriend who is in need of dental care for her TOOTH? Anyway, we're glad to hear yual are a finally goin' to try to kick the meth habit, now if we can get ya ta leave the snuff alone, gettin' inta shape, strength training, and spendin' time outside should be easy, and you can probably get lots of material for national publishin' when your doin' the community service sentence and pickin up that trash along the road with you new friends in those neat orange suits. As fer the pop-up or the travel trailer, I prefer the pop-up, they fit the toaster better. As for me. I've resolved to take life a lot more seriously, and stop poking fun at the rest of the world.

  4. Love #9. We must be related in some distant universe as I share many of the same resolutions. I'm just not writing about mine....
    And, I don't even know what #4 is...and I do hotels so I don't want to do #16. #17 on the other hand...that's a dream. Sigh.

  5. beer and ping pong!!!!

  6. Good luck with all of them. Hey start tracking your fitness and weight loss then you can be published in Shape magazine. That's national right? :)

  7. Hi Julianne,
    I love my mini-trampoline. I swear it makes me happy as well as giving me a bouncy workout while I watch Oprah in the living room.
    Can't beat that!