Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Lunch in the Life

If I could delete food completely from the relationship that I have with my children, my family life would improve dramatically. A single green bean has the power to send myself and my children into a frantic, emotional state. I sigh and do my best to suppress the urge to pull my hair out piece by piece. Yuck
My son makes horrible faces, preparing his mouth for the entrance of the microscopic bite of green bean by holding his nose with one hand and strategically placing his drink with the other. My daughter repeats the same line over and over like a mantra of disdain, "I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. No! No! No!" or the perennial favorite (and bold-faced lie), "I took two bites Mommy. I took two bites Mommy. I took two bites Mommy" as if this statement has any relevance at all.  This scene lasts for at least twenty minutes every day.  It exhausts me and sends me into a frazzled Mom-state in which I use the television as a tool to remove the children from my presence. I can't take it anymore. Any suggestions? Words of wisdom?  Prescription drugs?



8 comments:

  1. No words of wisdom here. My kids actually like green beans! (Please don't thrown things at me)

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  2. Out of 3 sons, our 1st ate such a small variety of diet, we worried about anemia constantly, he would literally starve himself and do without rather than try anything 'different',our 2nd never met a food he didn't like, our 3rd would ask "do I like it?", and on being told yes, he would eat it, sometimes shivering from the taste, but eat it he would. We don't have any answers, I remember you feeding him nothing but organic foods and restricting his diet when he was young, it may have to do with birth order, but, all those damn avocados couldn't have helped any. See what happens when ya don't get the boy a plate of fried pork, some fried taters with onion, and some dried beans with corn bread early on? They turn out eating like Uncle Chris.

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  3. P.S. I neglected to remind you of the great little parenting aid they make in nearby Lynchburg, it comes in an easy to store 4/5's quart bottle that is square in shape, and has a discreet black and white label that I'm sure will fit in any decor. Administer by the table spoon with a little honey, it may not help his appetite, but it will quieten him down, and, if it doesn't work, try a couple of fingers over ice yourself, at least you'll feel better, and it won't matter as much. Good luck, and let us know how it works out;)

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  4. Hey J,
    My mom bought this book for us at Christmas, you might check it out. I haven't tried anything yet, but does sound good.
    "Deceptively Delicious, Simple Secrets to Get Your Child Eating Good Food" by Jessica Seinfeld

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  5. Although I think Papadale has better suggestions, the drink sounds best for mom's sanity.

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  6. I'm afraid it does not get better. You'll have to wait 'til your son gets a serious girlfriend who tells him, "green beans rule" and then they will suddenly take on a holy caste. My older son is a remarkably picky eater. Thanks to him, I have two measly strands of hair left on my head. But now when the girlfriend says a food is good, he suddenly regards it under a new light.

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  7. hahaha! When my daughter started school she suddenly "I don't like..." to her vocabulary. One day my mother observed the battle (and my frustration) and said, "She doesn't have to like them, she just has to eat them." Next meal it starts up (same food she had eaten the day before just fine). I looked her in the eye and said, "that's ok. You don't have to like it. You only have to eat it." *shrugs* It actually worked!

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  8. They do it to torture us. There is no solution but to survive long enough to see them suffer at the hands of their own offspring.

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