Monday, October 8, 2007

How to Prepare for a Yard Sale When Your Husband is a Pack Rat

  1. One
    word: roofies. If your husband is asleep, he can’t protest the fact that you
    are selling his pewter flask from the 1992 wedding he was in, despite the fact
    that the couple is now divorced.

  2.  If
    you have an ethical problem with number one, consider turning on one of his
    favorite television shows. For my husband, this would be the History Channel or
    the World Series of Poker. If he is in visual range of either of these
    programs, he falls into a trance-like state. This creates the perfect
    opportunity to slip his Dwight Shrute-esque short-sleeved dress shirts out the
    front door and throw a price sticker on them.

  3. Give
    him choices. Tell him that he has to choose between one of two items to sell.
    The choice between his dress shoes from 6 years ago (“All they need is a little
    polish.”) and the darth vader carrying case from his childhood might be a
    difficult one but at least you can bid farewell to one thing.

  4. Use
    reason. Sure, a non-working avocado green refrigerator might be difficult to
    part with but if you can tout the virtues of a
    faux-stainless-steel working refrigerator, perhaps you can convince your husband to haul
    the old one out of the garage.

  5. When
    all else fails, bribe him. We all have a price and men’s seems to be fairly
    universal. It might just be worth a little bartering to get rid of the 5 x 8
    watercolor he painted in his college dorm room during his long hair hippie


  1. Ha! I like the last idea the best.

  2. Ha! I like the last idea the best.

  3. My husband has a Darth Vader carrying case too and I know he would never get rid of it. It serves as the carrier for my son's random figurines. It takes up so much space but I know it's going nowhere. :)
    You have to paste a picture of that watercolor(hahahah)

  4. To make my poor second born child choose between such rare and collectible items as an avocado fridge, (sounds like vintage 1970's to me) and a Darth Vader collector's box, or a signed original art work from the 1980's, is simply cruel and uncalled for behavior. I intend to inform the Antique Roadshow people of this, and let it be know, your days are numbered girlie!!!!

  5. I sold my husband's winter jacket that he bought his sophomore year in college and he still won't let me live it down. I think he wanted to be buried in it... So I feel your pain (although it gave me a lot of laughs!)

  6. Hmmm. I like them.
    We have a wooden wine cask, cut open and lined with orange shag carpeting over here that hubby used as a stero stand during his student days that I need to get rid of.
    I was thinking of promising the kids $10 if they'd set it on fire or something...maybe your ideas are safer though. Children. Matches. Probably not good.

  7. Fabulous suggestions all.
    What is the fascination with the World Series of Poker anyway, I think this is universal as well.

  8. Excellent and necessary advice for all women about to embark on a yard sale and sell off husband's useless, yet prized, eye-sores. Well-done!

  9. Yep, I sold Dusty's guitar amp from college for 100 bucks, this comes up now and them. BUT- I want the Darth Vadar carrying case, please :), jk. I do wish when we cleaned out my grandmother's house, that I kept her go,go boots, they were white w/ the tight rubber calve part and patten leather- a classic for sure!!
    Good Luck!! I would love to help you guys declutter too, fun times!!