Friday, September 22, 2006

Post Moronic Activity Disorder

My girlfriends and I had our “Hot Mamas” movie night last
night. One of my friends has a home
theater in her basement and we get together at her house one Thursday a month to socialize while we watch a good flick. We eat, chat and drink a little wine. Last night we added another activity to the mix: we TP’d a friend’s
house. Most of us live in the same
neighborhood so we grabbed a stash of toilet paper, crept stealthily out the
back door and down the road. We felt
like covert agents as we covered her trees, shrubs and mailbox with toilet
paper. We also did a little driveway
graffiti with the help of some readily available sidewalk chalk.

I am still astonished that I actually participated in this
activity. I kept having déjà vu as we
were walking surreptitiously in the dark. If I were wearing size four jeans and holding a Keystone Light and a lit
cigarette, I would have been in High School. We laughed hysterically the entire time. It ended in very appropriate fashion: my friend’s (the victim)
dog barked and we all took off running, screaming like schoolgirls.

Right now I am suffering from
post-moronic-activity-disorder, commonly known as PMAD. Did I really help TP someone’s house? Did I do this at the ripe old age of 31 with
the help of several other mothers of young children? What were we thinking? I
was 100% convinced last night that she deserved it. She did miss movie night after all and she wasn’t on her
deathbed (the only legitimate excuse). How did she feel when she walked out her door this morning to a scene
right out of the ninth grade? Is she
upset? Is she flabbergasted? And, most importantly, does she still love
me? Alyson, please forgive us. We are morons.


  1. Alyson, it was ALL Julianne's idea. None of the rest of us wanted to do it, but she made us.

  2. I'm not buying the part about a little wine, you guys must be buying the really good stuff in the 4 litter bottles with the twist off tops, and.... moron might fit, afterall you just got done ratting out yourself and all your buds on the internet on a well read blog site, and confessed to an outright act of terrorism, QUICK!! pull the shades, and hide the babies, the federalies may be outside right now!!!!

  3. poor alyson! Next time call me so I can come!~

  4. Okay, I'm catching up after being out of the loop for a week. Yes, there was a Pigpen award, unfortunately. Jules received it often. The teacher was new and it probably isn't a practice she used for very long. Your son's hair is fine, almost urban. Kudos to Tay-Tack! I knew she could do it! I bet the tp-ing was a blast. I have seen you run many times when the going got rough!! I have a perfect visual image of that scene just as the dog began to bark. What fun?! By the way, your saving grace (the messier kid) in 3rd grade used to follow me home from school in 11th grade. He left strange greeting cards on my desk in homeroom with cats eating bloody fish telling me about his favorite after school activity-stalking me. Fun Times!!! (still in Chi-town, Jules, I'll check in soon). Thanks for the juicy reading.

  5. Jacquelyn-
    People who live in glass houses, VERY old, thin, brittle glass houses, should not throw stones :)

  6. Papa Dale-
    Oh, it was the good wine. Nothing but the best for our group: white zin and refrigerated Merlot. YES!

  7. Melinda-
    Don't speak too soon. You might be next...

  8. H-
    Hope you are having fun in Chi-Town. I'm jealous. I love that you think my child's hair is "urban." I'm not quite sure what that means but since you didn't say, "hideous," I'll take it as a compliment.
    Yes, I remember the newly crowned Pigpen and the legacy he left with you. He was an interesting character, that one.

  9. Oh!! Don't you worry....I KNOW exactly whose idea it was!!

  10. Alyson-
    Ugh oh, do I detect a quest for revenge in your tone? It was such a tragedy that it rained that night. I'm sure that made clean up extra fun.

  11. Alyson told Chase that we rolled them for his birthday! Poor Chase! Had to clean up wet toilet paper on his b-day. We all should be ashamed of ourselves! Aly, you know we love you!

  12. Michelle-
    Yes, poor Chase, but better poor Chase than poor Alyson. Knowing Chase, he was probably honored that a bunch of chicks rolled his house for his birthday :)

  13. I don't think "chicks" was quite the word Chase used to describe us.

  14. I often suffer from PMAD. Knowing there is some moronic activity I can do helps me get out of bed each morning, or afternoon most days.