Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Bah Humbug

Santa is coming to our local mall this Thursday night. That’s right, folks. On November 9th, 46 days before
Christmas, Santa will be arriving at the mall amongst a sizable parade and a
great deal of fanfare. This event has
serious ramifications for me. It means
that every time we go to the mall (which is fairly frequent because there is a
nice, free indoor playground that both my children really enjoy) we will see
Santa Claus from now until Christmas. What a nightmare. 





Santa
I find myself stunned every year when I hear the
announcement of the date of Santa’s impending arrival. Apparently, the event surrounding the
arrival is quite fun. There is a
parade, some games, a bounce house, and lots of free stuff for the kids to do;
but I refuse to go. I will not support
such an early onslaught of Christmas commercialism. My poor child is already bombarded with commercials, store
displays, and catalogs on a daily basis. His demographic is marketed very aggressively this time of year and
Santa’s arrival at the mall is only a small part of the master plan to bankrupt
us all. Everyday my son comes up with a
new toy that he wants for Christmas or that he wants to buy for his friend
Katherine or his sister (it seems to me that girls are marketed to even more
aggressively than boys). It is exhausting. 





I know I sound like a complete cynic but I am not. I love Christmas. I love everything about it. As an avid supporter and participant in retail therapy, I even enjoy the
commercialism to some degree but I think it is reasonable to postpone Santa’s
arrival until after Thanksgiving. Let’s
get through one holiday before we move on to the next one. So, for those of you who plan on attending
Santa’s arrival at the mall, have fun. I know that your kids will enjoy it. You won’t see me there, though. I’ll be home snidely enjoying my boycott and teaching my kids to say,
“Bah humbug.”





8 comments:

  1. retail therapy! Ha I like that. I have never taken my kids to get their picture done with santa. We passed by him one year ( on accident) and waved. Last year we made the attempt to see him and we got there too late so we saw him leaving. I am not boycotting it I just always forget or have something else to do. I guess you can call me Ebenezer!

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  2. Have I ever told you that Aleita is terrified of Santa? Last year when when we went to see him, she screamed and cried and clung to me, and wouldn't stop ctying until we were well outside Santa's magical fake-snow wonderland. After that, every time we would pass by him, she would say, "I don't like Santa."
    We were at Menard's a few weeks ago and they had their Christmas decorations out, and there was a large plastic Santa at the end of the aisle. Aleita saw him and grabbed me around my neck as I was pushing the cart and reiterated (almost a year later, mind you), "I don't like Santa."
    I said to her, "but Santa brings you presents - do you like presents?"
    Aleita: "yes"
    Me: "then who will bring you your presents if you don't like Santa?"
    Aleita: "Grandma."
    So there you go. I hope Grandma likes the milk and cookies we set out for her on Christmas eve.

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  3. for Aunt Becky; we always left shrimp cocktail and cold beer out for Santa, he seemed to appreciate it more than milk and cookies. also, Aleita made us turn all our Halloween Jack-o-lanterns to face the wall when she came to our house, the poor girl has some issues. The first time Chris sat on Santa's lap, I had to sit on his lap to for support (poor Santa), Sean always came up with a last minute request for Santa which would send us scampering, and, Ben just wouldn't have anything to do with Santa at all, now all you have to do is figure which of the family members you want your kids to be most like, and, if all else fails, don't forget Grandma's an easy mark. (totally unlike papa dale)

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  4. for Aunt Becky; we always left shrimp cocktail and cold beer out for Santa, he seemed to appreciate it more than milk and cookies. also, Aleita made us turn all our Halloween Jack-o-lanterns to face the wall when she came to our house, the poor girl has some issues. The first time Chris sat on Santa's lap, I had to sit on his lap to for support (poor Santa), Sean always came up with a last minute request for Santa which would send us scampering, and, Ben just wouldn't have anything to do with Santa at all, now all you have to do is figure which of the family members you want your kids to be most like, and, if all else fails, don't forget Grandma's an easy mark. (totally unlike papa dale)

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  5. Melinda-
    True story: there are no pictures of myself or my brother as a child with Santa. That just wasn't something my parents did. I do try to get one every year and put it in a scrapbook.

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  6. Aunt Becky-
    That's awesome. Maybe you should tell her that Mrs. Claus is coming? Grandma does pretty well too though.

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  7. Papa Dale-
    Shrimp cocktails and beer? That's my kind of Santa. Maybe we'll start a new tradition in our family. Santa will be left a shaker of salt, some lime wedges, and a bottle of tequila. Tis the season!

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  8. It seems like the Christmas stuff came out earlier than usual this year. What happened to waiting until after Thanksgiving to put up the lights? I was yelling "Bah Humbug" in the general direction of all Christmas decorations I observed before Thanksgiving.

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