Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Pajama Boy

What do you do when a pajama-clad kid is trying to bite your
son? I had to figure that question out quickly yesterday. I noticed the kid in
question immediately when he walked into the play area yesterday. He was wearing
a camo shirt that was clearly a pajama shirt, probably left over from the night
before. His pants were camo as well, a different print but, I’m happy to
report, not pajamas. His hair was disheveled and he looked like a force to be
reckoned with. I made a mental note of him, sensing trouble, and went back to
chatting with my friends.

About an hour and a half later I noticed an altercation between
my son and pajama boy. My son’s arms were flailing wildly and he had a look of disbelief
on his face. Pajama boy was inches away
from my son’s arm with his teeth bared, ready to strike. I ran towards my son,
screaming at him to stop fighting, hoping that my pleas would be met with obedience
and PB’s teeth would not actually break my son’s skin. I watched my son in what
felt like slow motion thinking, “I really need to get that kid in karate or tae
kwon do.”

I got to my son’s aid just in time. He was crying but very
angry and ready to pound that kid into the ground with whatever spazmatron
ninja moves he could muster. I glared at pajama boy and told him to keep his
hands and his teeth away from my child. I considered confronting his mother but
decided against it, reasoning I might
need some karate lessons to engage in a confrontation with the mother of a boy
in pajamas at 12:30 in the afternoon. I decided that my glare and harsh words
were probably enough to stave off another attack.

So it appears that I am that
mom, the one that handles confrontations with the kids instead of the Mom. It’s
much easier to intimidate someone who’s less than 3 feet tall than an actual
adult. This will all change, of course, when I earn my black belt.


  1. Poor T! I'm sorry! I hate when kids are mean! Go ahead with your black belt butt kickin self! ;)

  2. You are in good company because I am one of "those" moms also. There's nothing like having to reprimand someone else's 3 yr old for pushing my 19 month old around on the slide! I do try to give the mom a snarky stare across the room, but she's usually too busy socializing to be bothered with what her kid is up to. So annoying.

  3. Momma Bear needs sharp teeth and long claws when defending Baby Bear. That said, family martial arts classes are not out of the question. Also, mace comes in a nice, small spritzer now, that resembles breath spray. Give the little red-neck meat-head a couple of shots in the eyes, and you'll at least have time to get back to the mini-van, roll up the windows, and lock the doors.

  4. I'm hard pressed not to absolutely love any blog entry that makes use of the word "spazmatron".

  5. Been there done that. I've whispered complex threats into the ears of three-year-olds, practicing my vocabulary skills while knowing that my tone of voice will make the impression I need. And I enrolled both sons in Tae Kwon Do. They got their black belts and pushing around became a thing of the past.

  6. Hmmm. I just teach mine to scream and retreat. We are wimps up here...until you give us hockey sticks!!! :)

  7. I always wonder what the "Proper" protocol is in these situations. Do we teach our kids to fight back or do we keep saying to them "keep your hands to yourself and tell mommy".
    I know a friend of mine her son kept getting bit at daycare. She started teaching him to bite back, but is that right? The daycare apparently had been working w/ the parents, but never took the child out. My friend ended up finding another daycare. I was surprised that they didn't move "The biter".
    Recently one mom was saying her mom taught her to run away and not confront the situation, she said that wasn't how she is teaching her kids. She is teaching them to fight.
    So what is the best way to handle these situations.
    It is awkward to discipline someone else child, when the parent is no where in sight for sure!!
    Go J-

  8. This is my white whale of parenting. I feel you!

  9. I think we have all been that mom. Especially since in my experience there are far too many moms that are content to have you become the watcher of their children at the park, pool, etc. I think you stand a better shot with the kid.
    btw--contest going on at until Friday!

  10. I have no problem with bossing little kids around - I am the adult, you know. If I'm the only adult right there, then I am in charge. If the mom wants to come over and take charge, great. No big deal. And I don't mind someone else correcting my child, if I'm missing some bad behavior. I like to socialize at playgrounds myself, and I don't always know exactly what my kids are doing. That's not necessarily neglectful - just human.

  11. Candice-
    Me too. The only thing worse than your kid falling victim to a meanie is when your kid actually IS the meanie!

  12. NyeAngie-
    Snarky stare--excellent idea!

  13. Jacquelyn-
    Is there really a better description of my eldest son?

  14. So, you would recommend Tae Kwon Do Keli? What about the whole spazmatron issue? Do you think my son could overcome it with the right teacher?

  15. Leanne-
    Scream and retreat. I love it.

  16. Katb-
    I don't think I'd support the "bite back" philosophy but I'm not sure what the answer is.

  17. New Diva-
    Off to win the contest ;)...

  18. Suburban Correspondent-
    Very true. I socialize too. I'm not blaming the Mama, just avoiding her!

  19. What I always find interesting is that no one every admits to being the parent of the child who is the "offender". Can we all say that our child would never ever push or be aggressive towards another child? If so, I suggest that you might be on child one and not child two, three or four. Of course, Pajama Boy is probably a repeat offender, but what is the end goal? Protecting our own child or giving a one-minute life changing child rearing hallelujah moment to someone else's child?
    Not saying I've never given the glare/harsh words approach - I have...but maybe there's a better way. And I have to figure out what it is...
    Deep thoughts by moving mama :)

  20. Moving Mama-
    I yelled at that kid to make myself feel better. No question about it.

  21. Julianne - Definitely not a critique of your situation :) More of a critique of current day mommyhood. Because "our kid" would never act that way ...
    Once I was grocery shopping and my youngest was putting a crayon in his ear. It was keeping him entertained and this young couple walked by with a baby in a stroller and gave me a death look... I think I muttered something like... "you just wait" - meaning we all have our less than perfect parent moments...

  22. Fret not MM, I wasn't offended. I enjoyed your deep thoughts.
    I used to laugh at people who said to me, "You just wait" when my oldest was an angelic baby, completely incapable of ever causing me one ounce of stress or emotional anguish. If only I had listened...