Our little east Tennessee town has a mall. I use the term "mall" loosely as it has neither a GAP nor a Spencers. We used to have a Spencers but it went out of business. That coupled with the fact that Kmart serves as one of the anchor stores may clue you in on the quality of our shopping center. I was listening to the radio this morning and heard that Santa was arriving at the mall this evening. It was slated to be a big event: Santa would arrive in a horse-drawn carriage and a Christmas dance recital would
follow shortly afterwards in the food court. I was optimistic. It sounded fun. And it probably won't be crowded since this is the first I'd heard of it (this is the kind of ego-centric world I live in—If I haven't heard of it, how could it possibly be crowded?).
I called a few friends. We made some plans. I told the kids. Santa? Yay! The Christmas spirit was alive in our house tonight and I was pumped. The temperatures have recently dropped, Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I'm ready to start this holiday season.
How was the event you ask? Here's some things I overheard at the so-crowded-it-made-me-sweat mall festivities.
Kid: Mommy. Look! There's Santa. Why's he so skinny?
Friend: Yeah, what's up with the anorexic Santa?
Kid: Mommy. Who is that? (points to a person in an odd looking deer suit wearing pin stripe pajamas with antlers that hung like hair in his face and a microscopic red nose)
Me: It's Rudolph. (In friend's ear): That's the jankiest Rudolph I've ever seen.
Friend: Did you see that guy with the afro in line to see Santa? Holy smokes. That's a big afro.
Me: I did. I can't stop staring at it.
Friend: It's a woman.
Me: You're right. It is a woman. Wow.
Friend: Ever heard of hair gel?
We left early, right after hitting the Super K for some toilet paper and milk. I guess having a Kmart in the mall is really a blessing in disguise.